Year in review

This blog is really becoming monthly. Now that the holidays are over i will write more!

Im not one to make resolutions, i never have. I feel like I'm just setting myself up to fail. Instead i take the new year as a time to look back and see what i have accomplished during the past year. 2009 was a strange one for me. I spent a majority of the year worrying about getting laid off. The year ended with work being so busy i spent most nights in tears. I accomplished nothing major during the year and by the end of it found my self in a bit of a funk. I found out everyone at my job thinks i am a slut who sleeps around. I lost a coworker i hated more than anything and gained a new one who i love! My home life has been great and i can not complain about my friends, family and home. I am very lucky in those areas. Overall my year just was. I can't pinpoint anything great about it or anything horrendous and i guess thats a pretty good thing...

This year i hope to not get laid off and to get out of this life funk i have found myself in for about a year. i really dont think thats too much to ask for...

The Worst!

I have been so busy i have completely neglected everything in my life, including this blog... Work has been crazy busy and thats seriously all i have done for three months. Things there are finally starting to calm down just in time for christmas! i can not believe that christmas is in 2 weeks and im hardly done with my shopping. I attempted to brave the retail world today but quickly got agitated and discouraged. So here i am with my credit card on my lap online shopping. I dont care how much shipping cost, sitting in traffic just to get to a store, and then fighting and pushing throw crowds of people in huge winter jackets and THEN standing in line for 15 mins is NOT working out for me. I think i have most of my big shopping done its just littel stuff i need to get which in my opinion is the worst. Tonight we are going to check out the enchanted village, which should be a lot of fun (i hope) and then hopefully we will get to do some other fun christmas things. This is my favorite time of year, i just hope this year i get to enjoy it.

How could i forget ur touch ur warm embrace

So its been one week since i was mmmburned and i am feeling 10000% better. When nicole and i got to the show it was very apparent that Taylor had the flu. he could hardly sing, so all was forgiven! The show was great they played tons of old stuff and some new stuff and i loved every min of it. Songs off the middle of nowhere cd make me feel like im 14 again and it immediately brings back that giddy groupie love that i have for them. Ive seen hanson live about a dozen times, and it always makes me so happy. So hanson, i am sorry i was so mad @ u this time last week. Thank u for making me who i am today. Thanks for growing up with me and being such a huge part of my life, but most of all thank u for never losing touch with the musicians you are. For years i dealt with the stigma that came from being a hanson fan, but i am so glad i stuck it out. Everyone needs someone/thing they are passionate about and as dorky as u think this makes me, hanson is my passion. I may not be as crazy as i was when i was in high school, but the hanson love is still there. When ever i start to think that i might be growing out of them, they come right back and suck me in. Last weeks show was a stark remind of this. The feeling, the thrill and the joy of hearing and seeing them live, whether im 15 or 26, never changes. And that is why hanson will *always* be my passion.
fin

mmmBurned!

So tonight im seeing hanson live for the 10th or so time. Im not as excited this year as i was last year, mostly because of the bad timing of the show. It comes smack in the middle of my 2nd 50 hour work week, and its cold out =(. Last night i was innocently watching the news and i was just about to hit the power button on the tv and crawl into bed but for some reason i hesitated and waited. The promo for the morning news was on and thats when it happened 'and 90s pop group hanson live in studio!!' i screamed like a 14 year old girl. i was so excited. i called caitlin we picked out and outfit and i was so ready to meet hanson and tell them how much of a fan i am. i set not one, but 2 alarms, just in case the first one didnt go off. I got up before the SUN! when i left this morning everything was falling into place and going just a little too well. i was at my desk around 7 and on the phone with caitlin squealing about how nervous i was. some time passed and at around 740 i was getting antsy. i hadnt heard anyone mention anything on the news about them coming in. So i walked to the news room and asked our helicopter guy if i had *gasp* missed them! he might as well have punched me square in the jaw! they CANCELLED.. i cant even tell u the mix of emotions i felt. i went from what was squaring out to be the single best day of my life, so what will now forever be known as the absolute worst day of my life. I dunno why am am so shocked, these good things never happen to me. i knew something was going to go wrong. i KNEW it. I mean i know i should be thankful i met them 9 years ago (holy shit im getting old) but its just not the same. And then it makes me question the band. They have always had this indy band feel and they always seemed like they were good guys. But this is just so 'eh im a rock star i dont give a fuck' it makes me sick. Is this how they treat there fans? i cant be the only person who was looking fwd to this. i mean they had a commitment, and they just broke it, for no real good reason and i am hurt and confused but the whole ordeal. Now i wont be able to enjoy tonight because im beyond mad @ them AND i got 4 hrs of sleep. EF MY LIFE
So now i sit here, im beyond tired, i feel like i have been punched in the face and i still have to go into boston for the show tonight, that is if i make it through the day...

The only difference

It has been about one month since my nightmare of a coworker left. Let me tell u. It has made the world of difference in my life! I knew i hated her, but i never realized how much. Every interaction i had with her was forced. When others were in our office i seriously had to force my self to be nice to her. It was exhausting! So now, about 4 weeks later, i have a new coworker. I love her. Shes smart and professional. i have no problems chatting with her. I dont end my days completely drained and start them enraged. My life has had a complete turn around. I have never ever had someone have such a negative affect on my life and them not even know it. She still has tried to be friendly with me, but after the whole rumor drama with her, i do not have it in me to pretend. So good bye black cloud in my life. Back to being my happy, bubbly self :)

So long summer

so in about 3 hours fall begins. I am so sad to see summer go. I love the warm weather and all the fun summer activities. I dont hate fall, but i hate what fall leads to. Overall i had a good summer. Nothing exciting happened and i did manage to keep myself out of trouble. I spent most of the summer in some weird funk, but i dont think it ruined the entire season. So now i have the fall activities to look forward to... Apple picking, spiced apple martini's, pumpkin everything and Halloween! I hope that fall brings me happiness and less drama. So good bye summer, as always, u have gone too soon!

Talk Talkin alot But its Still Talk...

First, i would like to apologize to the 2 ppl that read this blog. Life has been crazy the past few weeks and i think just now things r starting to get back to normal.

Now on to todays rant! My coworker and i used to be pretty good work friends. We were not besties or anything, but i would say we were close enough to go out at lunch together, shop, etc. Over the past few years we have grown apart (100% my doing). I just grew tired of her childish ways and how loud and obnoxious she was about everything. As far as she was concerned i was her 'girl' and she 'had my back' Last week was her last week being my coworker and i was happy to be done with her. I never planned on cutting her out of my life for ever. but i figured she would email me from time to time and i would have occasional, civil contact with her. I knew she was far too dense to know how much i hated her while we worked together. This week work was going great! i didnt have to listen to endless phone conversations, i was able to keep my music on as loud as i wanted and i was in a great mood! Fast forward to Wednesday afternoon when i get an email from her. I didnt really think anything of it at first, i skimmed it real quick cuz i was busy and planned on emailing her back something very vague and cordial. Until i get to the last paragraph. She drops a bombshell on me! She tells me about this rumor going around about me and how 'everyone' is talking about said rumor. I wont get into the rumor on here, but it is a pretty big rumor, the kind that if it was going around about u, u would hope someone would clue u into the fact. She proceeds to tell me that people would ask her 'all the time' and she would deny the rumor for me, cuz again, i am her 'girl'. She didnt want to TELL me about the rumor because it would have been AWKWARD because we sat next to each other. WHAT.THE.FUCK. seriously?! i THOUGHT friends would tell each other these things. Regardless if u thought the rumor was true or not, someone ANYONE should have said to me 'hey amy i know its none of my business, but i thought u had the right to know.' really? not ONE SINGLE PERSON. No one thought they would be nice and just effing HINT that people were saying SHIT about me. I dont care what people choose to believe, i just wish someone would have told me so i could have defended myself. Now i fear its too late. Everywhere i walk around work i wonder 'did they hear?' or 'what are they thinking about me' i think about conversations ive had with coworkers that at the time seemed very random, could they have been misconstrued? I know people are going to think and say what they want, hell if it was about someone else i'd be all over this rumor. But its different when its about you. But whatever. its over, its going around, and people have formed their opinions about me already and theres no changing their minds at this point and i mean i guess its not even the rumor i care so much about. Its these so called 'friends' who just fucking talked about me and 'knew' these things about me and never once told me or hinted to me. No matter how weird it would have made things, if someone was a real, true, genuine friend they would have told me because i had the right to know and thats what friends do...

So as i sit here on a friday night listening to my zune and blogging, i am completely emotionally drained. I think i felt every emotion possible in the past 3 days. I'm glad for the 3 day weekend to finally be here. And i am glad to have learned what kind of a 'good friend' this person is. I just want to know when people will ever grow up and why people care so much about my life??