summer time...

A lot has happened since i last wrote. ( i am the WORST at keeping up with this!)

Last week i had some time off, and it was much needed. We went to the Blink 182 show and it was such a good time. I have LOVED blink as long as i can remember ( i think even before hanson!!)! I have been looking forward to this show since they announced their come back @ the Grammys in February! The hype did not disappoint. It was prob the best blink show i have seen and it was great to hear every old song that i have grown up loving. Towards the end of the show i got a little nostalgic and realized that this was probably the last time i will see them live, because i honestly do not think they will stay together (even for the kids -ha see what i did there, yes lame blink song joke, sigh-). But it was great rocking out like i was 14 again.
The rest of that weekend was filled with sports. Rox game-terrible, WAY too many children which made me realize if @ 26 im not ready to deal with them, perhaps i never will. Revs game- Tons of fun. it was nice, inexpensive and something different to do. Sunday we had a cookout @ nicole and erics, which was a lo of fun too!
Monday dan and i decided to be adventurous and go to a new beach. we went to Dennis. the beach was nice, and we had an awesome time! there wasnt much else to do in town (imo) so we headed home and got some drinks closer to home. Tuesday we chilled @ home and now im back @ work!
All in all my vacation was really nice, we didnt go anywhere Fancy, but thats just fine by me. I got to spend time with friends and family and just relax.

A kiss to send us off...

This weekend Dan and i went to the Incubus show. It was JUST what i needed. I can not even remember the last time i had that much fun. To me, there is nothing like a live show. We had great seats and the band put on a great show! i would def say it was one of the best shows i have been to ever! Of course the night was going to well, so something had to go wrong. We lost the car!! we found it after 20 mins of frantically searching12 lots!! lol but all was well once we found the focus! we then sat in traffic to get out of the lot for what seemed like forever. But it was ok because we had so much fun, and i drive like an aggressive a-hole, so i was able to get us out in pretty good time ;) The show was pretty much a kick off to a busy month of events! im excited for the next show, Blink 182, which is on thursday and im sure will be just as much fun. Im slowly starting to get out of my life funk and back to being my happy self. Having time off and things to do during the time off is really helping alot. So heres to a great month of summer fun!

Maybe Its because i Just Can't Honestly Tell you what I want...

Its no secret, i am going thru some sort of quarter life crisis. I have always known what i want out of life and have always been a relatively upbeat, happy person. Lately i cant get out of my own way. i have lost interest in everything. I should be happy, i have everything i want, but i still find my self in a funk. I dont even know what it is i want. I think what started this whole crisis is my absolute paranoia about losing my job. If i lose my job, what will i do?? where will i work? and will i ever have a job like this again!? what if i cant find another job? what if i have to work @ walmart? nothing like a $100k degree and working @ walmart. The whole thing stresses me out. And then its like, i want to be happy, but as i sit here, teary eyed, i can only think about how sad i am. Its nothing anyone did to me or said to me. Its just something i can not explain... I am not an emotional person, i can man up with the best of them. I ignore people that bother me, push people away when i think i am about to get hurt, but lately i feel like if someone looks at me the wrong way i will burst into tears. This is not a way for me to live. No matter what i do i cant snap out of it. I have tried going out in the fresh air @ lunch time, walks after dinner, movies, hobbies, outings with the hubby, everything. While i am happy while we are doing these things, i always return to feeling miserable. I really need to snap out of this. I just wish i knew what it is that i honestly want...

Reasons we are not parents

Caitlin and I are like in so many ways, down to saying the same thoughts at the same time. And one way we are like is that we both are not ready to become moms. We've thoughtfully listed all the reasons we choose to stay childless. I am purple and Caitlin is pink.


-"I am tired of taking care of living things." (Even in a drought, I'm just not dedicated enough to water the plants I grew from seeds.)
-If my car is sick, I'd rather just let the dealer keep it and give me a new one.
-My mom now asks if I have food and am eating every time she sees me.
-Realizing at 10pm that you did not feed the dog.
-Not even knowing how many fish you have in the fish tank, or not noticing when one just disappeared.
-I need my sleep.
-At one point had STFU Parents on Google Reader. (It got old though.)
-That thing called childbirth.
-Stretch marks!
-No drinking for 9 months.
-No coffee for 9 months (total deal breaker).
-Far too self-absorbed.
-I am notoriously impatient.
-Can't stand the sight of a crying baby and have to leave the room.
-I don't think I could care that much about pooping on the potty.
-Daisy of Love is not appropriate family viewing.
- Can't listen to "Crazy Bitch" on full blast in the car with a baby on board.
-Flying to Boston for a Hanson concert? Not gonna happen with kids around.
-Blood? Injuries? Loose teeth? No thank you.
-The possibility of multiples makes me go "Holy crap."
-We're still young!
-Half the time, my boyfriend acts like a child.
-Half the time *I* act like a child.
-My boyfriend said once that he wouldn't want to have just one child on the chance it might have only-child syndrome.
-It's way more eco-friendly (less waste, less need to consume, less energy needed).
-Having to cart them around everywhere sounds terrible (I hate bringing my purse out! Never mind a whole PERSON.)
-I want one that looks exactly like Maddox Jolie-Pitt and logically speaking, that won't happen.
- Kids are too needy.
-The possibility of them wanting to go to LSU for college.
- The possibility of them becoming a Yankee fan.
- The possibility of having a snotty little girl.
- I don't want to spend morning, noon and night talking about how AWESOME my kid's scribbles on a paper are.
- I prefer spending disposable income on shoes... for myself.
- MOM JEANS.
-Being in charge of raising an intellectual human being? I don't work well under pressure and stress.
-Lots of parents complain about how parenthood is a 24/7 job. I need my time off.
-I don't hate kids, I just like to give them back to their parents after an hour or so. :)
- I hate kids. :)

You know what really grinds my gears?

This whole jon and kate plus 8 shannagins that is going on right now, thats what!! i dont watch the show regularly, in fact, the whole thought of having 8 children under the age of 10 makes me want to go to some back ally and rip my reproductive glands out. But i am a slave to celebrity blogs and the story is unavoidable. a few weeks ago i watched the first ever TV special for jon and kate. I felt bad for jon. Kate was demanding and he worked long hours and he waited on her hand and foot and didnt really complain. Then the new season of the show started, I had to tune in to see all the commotion. I watched the premiere and it really didnt tell me anything i had not already read online. but i was some how intrigued. It appeared that Jon had FINALLY grown a set and was standing up for him self. Then last night, in all my shameful TV watching glory, i watched a FULL episode of the show to see their 'big announcement'. Now i wont get into the fact that how spoiled rotten and annoying these children are (cuz i could be bias with u know, my love of kids in general). The end of the episode, when they were talking about how their marriage has dissolved, kate finally decided that she is a shitty human being and wants to world to feel bad for her. Guess what, i aint buying it. She had a great husband who has put up w/ her BS for 10 long years! I am happy that he got out of this relationship.

WHICH brings me to my next topic. The Internet is all a stir with jon hatred this morning. Everyone is saying how cold he came across and how dare he walk out on his children... excuse me!? have these people even SEEN this show before??? i have BARELY seen the show and i know enough that kate was VERY verbally abusive to jon. If the roles were reversed everyone would applaud Kate for leaving this relationship and setting an example for her 8 young children. Why is society holding this man, and men in general, to a different standard. He 'stopped the cycle' of abuse. A mantra many women shout to each other when in these kinds of relationships. I would think people would be happy for jon he is doing whats right for everyone. People are saying jon "allowed" kate to be mean to him. Would people ever DARE say this to an abused woman? 'oh u let him smack the shit out of u' HELL NO!! They would tell that woman, run, run fast and never ever look back. Mental abuse is JUST as bad as physical abuse, poor jon. I hate these double standard we have! So Jon, Kudos, for stopping the mental abuse your wife has inflicted on you! And shame on you society for encouraging this kind of mental abuse given to this man by that woman!!!

Life is High school

The past week has been spent watching Freaks and Geeks on Dvd. I love this show and it very much reminded me of high school life. Then, the more i thought about it the more i realized that life in general never really changed much from this high school dynamic. My job is a great example of this. We have the 'poplar' group that everyone wants to say hi to or hang out with, and they know it (and im pretty sure love it). You have the nerds (ps my allies lol) who do all the techie jobs. These people have always been my favorite group, even when growing up. They are always the nicest group, even if other ppl think they are freaks. You have the dramatic group of people who no one ACTUALLY likes, but they are blissfully unaware. Theres the guy in the office/school who is quiet and a little strange and will probably shoot the place up just cuz he's bored. Theres the smart group who just do their own thing and do not really get involved in the social aspects.
Of course there is also the petty drama of who likes who and whose a slut/bitch/etc. In highschool I always thought to myself 'if i can just make it thru these 4 years life will be so much better. Granted life has got a trillion times better, but some things in life never, ever change.

I've Gotta a Funny Feeling...

For about a week very strange things have been happening to me. Like completely random strange things. It started last week on my drive home. I'm sitting on the highway and i started to think about my friend Melissa, wondering what she was up to and how she has been. I havent talked to her since maybe right after I got married. We've sent a few txts here and there, but nothing recently. Fast forward to about 8 oclock that night when im driving home from tennis and my phone gets a txt. Its from melissa. Out of the blue she txt me to tell me she was thinking of me and that we have to get together soon. I think this has to be the strangest of all the weird things happening to me lately. I mean, i havent thought about her or talked to her in months and then bam, txt! Then theres been random instences where i will be thinking of someone and suddenly i see that they have tweeted or i think i need some thing from people i work with and as i am thinking it they send me what i need. I think of a song, it comes on the radio. Im working in something for a client, their commercial comes on. All of this is creeping me out. I feel like a should shut my eyes and hope the Loto numbers come to me!!