I need a hug

This week has been very strange for me. Getting a good nights sleep has been near impossible!!
Two nights ago i had a terrible dream, i really dont know what rehashed the feelings, but something did. Its funny how almost a year can go by, but the feelings that were hurt are still fresh. I am usually not the type to let ppl/things/emotions get to me. But this is something that bugs me almost on a daily basis. Its unfathomable to me how people can treat each other certain ways and its okay with them and I come off as the bad guy. To me certain people in my life come first (no matter what) and i really cant understand how this is so wrong? The dream was very vivid and i can remember every detail of it (down to what i was wearing). It really threw me off for the rest of the day because i was so upset by this dream and i am really unable to speak about it with anyone. (so dont bother asking cuz i am not gonna tell u) I just needed to get this out. Feelings were hurt, for no reason, and almost a year later i still feel horrible about myself. I guess i really never will be good enuff.
So all this lead me to be totally off yesterday. I still have that 'off' feeling. Like Im not interested really in doing anything. I also feel like somethings f*cked up work wise. I am just waiting for something here to go wrong. I know its just a matter of time... i can feel it. And im sure it will be tomorrow cuz fridays certainly do blow. I dunno. I hate feeling this way. I am pushing everyone away today and yesterday cuz i just am not interested in anything but crawling back into bed and watching i love the new millennium :) I think a good cure for this would be a nice extended vacation.

The Entwistle trial just concluded. First off, i can not believe how fast it went. And second what a sad sad case. The man has shown absolutely no emotion. He is, as my husband said, 'a cold hearted killer'. He will now spend the rest of his life (hes only like 28!) in prison right down the road in walpole! Its so sad and scary to think one minuet ur in love and happy with a brand new baby, then the next the man ur in love with murders u and ur child. What kind of sick killer is this man?! Rip lily and Rachael.