better

It started last friday, when i finally got out and enjoyed the nice weather. i realized that i have been a complete shithead for months. Between work stress and just being in a rut i have been miserable. I decided that i really just need to stop sweating the small stuff and get back to being myself. the person who, deep down, is happy go lucky. I have never been a downer, but over the past few months i havent been able to get out of my own way. This past weekend was a perfect rejuvenation for me. the weather was nice and i was able to just relax and enjoy my life again... So far this week has been fine. the weather isnt great, but u know what? its ok! i havent wanted to off myself, i havent complained really and best of all tomorrow is my birthday! i will NOT spent my 27th year as miserable as i spent my 26th. Heres to a new year of me, getting back to loving life and being happy! :)

Breakaway

Every once in a while i get into these moods. i really can not describe it. Its like i want to put on my pjs, pull the covers over my head and forget that anyone even exists. im currently smack in the middle of one of these moods. Theres no real reason for it. The sun is shining, work has been fine. But EVERY little thing is bothering me. Little things that i normally would find funny are hurting my feelings. Songs that i ussually love are making me want to cry. i cant stand being like this. I hate being on the verge of tears all day. i hate that people think they are being funny, and they are really hurting my feelings. I hate how personal i take things. My entire day has just been a little off. I think it started last night, when i couldnt get to sleep. Maybe i am just over tired. Maybe im bored with my life. I just do not know. I hope i am not like this much longer. I really hate myself in this mood.

yup

Yea, im really not good at staying with this. i have no reason why, i just forget about this i guess. Since we last spoke dan and i have planned and booked, what i guess will be our official honeymoon since we really never did have that nice get away after the wedding (im shocked it only took 2.5 yrs!) So its off to Disney we go in about 2 months. I'm really excited to go, i love Disney and i am in desperate need of getting away from this place (this state). Life has not been terrible. its had its moments, but its march and as far as im concerned the winter is over. Works been work. not god awful tho. My jaw is better(ish). Still hurts when i open my mouth too wide, but at least i can chew with out being brought to tears. Which i think will be as good as it gets.
I will really try to stay with this damn blog. Maybe now that i have my spark back in my life, i will be more motivated to actually write in here.