Thursday, July 16, 2009
Maybe Its because i Just Can't Honestly Tell you what I want...
Its no secret, i am going thru some sort of quarter life crisis. I have always known what i want out of life and have always been a relatively upbeat, happy person. Lately i cant get out of my own way. i have lost interest in everything. I should be happy, i have everything i want, but i still find my self in a funk. I dont even know what it is i want. I think what started this whole crisis is my absolute paranoia about losing my job. If i lose my job, what will i do?? where will i work? and will i ever have a job like this again!? what if i cant find another job? what if i have to work @ walmart? nothing like a $100k degree and working @ walmart. The whole thing stresses me out. And then its like, i want to be happy, but as i sit here, teary eyed, i can only think about how sad i am. Its nothing anyone did to me or said to me. Its just something i can not explain... I am not an emotional person, i can man up with the best of them. I ignore people that bother me, push people away when i think i am about to get hurt, but lately i feel like if someone looks at me the wrong way i will burst into tears. This is not a way for me to live. No matter what i do i cant snap out of it. I have tried going out in the fresh air @ lunch time, walks after dinner, movies, hobbies, outings with the hubby, everything. While i am happy while we are doing these things, i always return to feeling miserable. I really need to snap out of this. I just wish i knew what it is that i honestly want...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Reasons we are not parents
Caitlin and I are like in so many ways, down to saying the same thoughts at the same time. And one way we are like is that we both are not ready to become moms. We've thoughtfully listed all the reasons we choose to stay childless. I am purple and Caitlin is pink.
-"I am tired of taking care of living things." (Even in a drought, I'm just not dedicated enough to water the plants I grew from seeds.)
-If my car is sick, I'd rather just let the dealer keep it and give me a new one.
-My mom now asks if I have food and am eating every time she sees me.
-Realizing at 10pm that you did not feed the dog.
-Not even knowing how many fish you have in the fish tank, or not noticing when one just disappeared.
-I need my sleep.
-At one point had STFU Parents on Google Reader. (It got old though.)
-That thing called childbirth.
-Stretch marks!
-No drinking for 9 months.
-No coffee for 9 months (total deal breaker).
-Far too self-absorbed.
-I am notoriously impatient.
-Can't stand the sight of a crying baby and have to leave the room.
-I don't think I could care that much about pooping on the potty.
-Daisy of Love is not appropriate family viewing.
- Can't listen to "Crazy Bitch" on full blast in the car with a baby on board.
-Flying to Boston for a Hanson concert? Not gonna happen with kids around.
-Blood? Injuries? Loose teeth? No thank you.
-The possibility of multiples makes me go "Holy crap."
-We're still young!
-Half the time, my boyfriend acts like a child.
-Half the time *I* act like a child.
-My boyfriend said once that he wouldn't want to have just one child on the chance it might have only-child syndrome.
-It's way more eco-friendly (less waste, less need to consume, less energy needed).
-Having to cart them around everywhere sounds terrible (I hate bringing my purse out! Never mind a whole PERSON.)
-I want one that looks exactly like Maddox Jolie-Pitt and logically speaking, that won't happen.
- Kids are too needy.
-The possibility of them wanting to go to LSU for college.
- The possibility of them becoming a Yankee fan.
- The possibility of having a snotty little girl.
- I don't want to spend morning, noon and night talking about how AWESOME my kid's scribbles on a paper are.
- I prefer spending disposable income on shoes... for myself.
- MOM JEANS.
-Being in charge of raising an intellectual human being? I don't work well under pressure and stress.
-Lots of parents complain about how parenthood is a 24/7 job. I need my time off.
-I don't hate kids, I just like to give them back to their parents after an hour or so. :)
- I hate kids. :)
-"I am tired of taking care of living things." (Even in a drought, I'm just not dedicated enough to water the plants I grew from seeds.)
-If my car is sick, I'd rather just let the dealer keep it and give me a new one.
-My mom now asks if I have food and am eating every time she sees me.
-Realizing at 10pm that you did not feed the dog.
-Not even knowing how many fish you have in the fish tank, or not noticing when one just disappeared.
-I need my sleep.
-At one point had STFU Parents on Google Reader. (It got old though.)
-That thing called childbirth.
-Stretch marks!
-No drinking for 9 months.
-No coffee for 9 months (total deal breaker).
-Far too self-absorbed.
-I am notoriously impatient.
-Can't stand the sight of a crying baby and have to leave the room.
-I don't think I could care that much about pooping on the potty.
-Daisy of Love is not appropriate family viewing.
- Can't listen to "Crazy Bitch" on full blast in the car with a baby on board.
-Flying to Boston for a Hanson concert? Not gonna happen with kids around.
-Blood? Injuries? Loose teeth? No thank you.
-The possibility of multiples makes me go "Holy crap."
-We're still young!
-Half the time, my boyfriend acts like a child.
-Half the time *I* act like a child.
-My boyfriend said once that he wouldn't want to have just one child on the chance it might have only-child syndrome.
-It's way more eco-friendly (less waste, less need to consume, less energy needed).
-Having to cart them around everywhere sounds terrible (I hate bringing my purse out! Never mind a whole PERSON.)
-I want one that looks exactly like Maddox Jolie-Pitt and logically speaking, that won't happen.
- Kids are too needy.
-The possibility of them wanting to go to LSU for college.
- The possibility of them becoming a Yankee fan.
- The possibility of having a snotty little girl.
- I don't want to spend morning, noon and night talking about how AWESOME my kid's scribbles on a paper are.
- I prefer spending disposable income on shoes... for myself.
- MOM JEANS.
-Being in charge of raising an intellectual human being? I don't work well under pressure and stress.
-Lots of parents complain about how parenthood is a 24/7 job. I need my time off.
-I don't hate kids, I just like to give them back to their parents after an hour or so. :)
- I hate kids. :)
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