The Worst!

I have been so busy i have completely neglected everything in my life, including this blog... Work has been crazy busy and thats seriously all i have done for three months. Things there are finally starting to calm down just in time for christmas! i can not believe that christmas is in 2 weeks and im hardly done with my shopping. I attempted to brave the retail world today but quickly got agitated and discouraged. So here i am with my credit card on my lap online shopping. I dont care how much shipping cost, sitting in traffic just to get to a store, and then fighting and pushing throw crowds of people in huge winter jackets and THEN standing in line for 15 mins is NOT working out for me. I think i have most of my big shopping done its just littel stuff i need to get which in my opinion is the worst. Tonight we are going to check out the enchanted village, which should be a lot of fun (i hope) and then hopefully we will get to do some other fun christmas things. This is my favorite time of year, i just hope this year i get to enjoy it.

How could i forget ur touch ur warm embrace

So its been one week since i was mmmburned and i am feeling 10000% better. When nicole and i got to the show it was very apparent that Taylor had the flu. he could hardly sing, so all was forgiven! The show was great they played tons of old stuff and some new stuff and i loved every min of it. Songs off the middle of nowhere cd make me feel like im 14 again and it immediately brings back that giddy groupie love that i have for them. Ive seen hanson live about a dozen times, and it always makes me so happy. So hanson, i am sorry i was so mad @ u this time last week. Thank u for making me who i am today. Thanks for growing up with me and being such a huge part of my life, but most of all thank u for never losing touch with the musicians you are. For years i dealt with the stigma that came from being a hanson fan, but i am so glad i stuck it out. Everyone needs someone/thing they are passionate about and as dorky as u think this makes me, hanson is my passion. I may not be as crazy as i was when i was in high school, but the hanson love is still there. When ever i start to think that i might be growing out of them, they come right back and suck me in. Last weeks show was a stark remind of this. The feeling, the thrill and the joy of hearing and seeing them live, whether im 15 or 26, never changes. And that is why hanson will *always* be my passion.
fin

mmmBurned!

So tonight im seeing hanson live for the 10th or so time. Im not as excited this year as i was last year, mostly because of the bad timing of the show. It comes smack in the middle of my 2nd 50 hour work week, and its cold out =(. Last night i was innocently watching the news and i was just about to hit the power button on the tv and crawl into bed but for some reason i hesitated and waited. The promo for the morning news was on and thats when it happened 'and 90s pop group hanson live in studio!!' i screamed like a 14 year old girl. i was so excited. i called caitlin we picked out and outfit and i was so ready to meet hanson and tell them how much of a fan i am. i set not one, but 2 alarms, just in case the first one didnt go off. I got up before the SUN! when i left this morning everything was falling into place and going just a little too well. i was at my desk around 7 and on the phone with caitlin squealing about how nervous i was. some time passed and at around 740 i was getting antsy. i hadnt heard anyone mention anything on the news about them coming in. So i walked to the news room and asked our helicopter guy if i had *gasp* missed them! he might as well have punched me square in the jaw! they CANCELLED.. i cant even tell u the mix of emotions i felt. i went from what was squaring out to be the single best day of my life, so what will now forever be known as the absolute worst day of my life. I dunno why am am so shocked, these good things never happen to me. i knew something was going to go wrong. i KNEW it. I mean i know i should be thankful i met them 9 years ago (holy shit im getting old) but its just not the same. And then it makes me question the band. They have always had this indy band feel and they always seemed like they were good guys. But this is just so 'eh im a rock star i dont give a fuck' it makes me sick. Is this how they treat there fans? i cant be the only person who was looking fwd to this. i mean they had a commitment, and they just broke it, for no real good reason and i am hurt and confused but the whole ordeal. Now i wont be able to enjoy tonight because im beyond mad @ them AND i got 4 hrs of sleep. EF MY LIFE
So now i sit here, im beyond tired, i feel like i have been punched in the face and i still have to go into boston for the show tonight, that is if i make it through the day...

The only difference

It has been about one month since my nightmare of a coworker left. Let me tell u. It has made the world of difference in my life! I knew i hated her, but i never realized how much. Every interaction i had with her was forced. When others were in our office i seriously had to force my self to be nice to her. It was exhausting! So now, about 4 weeks later, i have a new coworker. I love her. Shes smart and professional. i have no problems chatting with her. I dont end my days completely drained and start them enraged. My life has had a complete turn around. I have never ever had someone have such a negative affect on my life and them not even know it. She still has tried to be friendly with me, but after the whole rumor drama with her, i do not have it in me to pretend. So good bye black cloud in my life. Back to being my happy, bubbly self :)

So long summer

so in about 3 hours fall begins. I am so sad to see summer go. I love the warm weather and all the fun summer activities. I dont hate fall, but i hate what fall leads to. Overall i had a good summer. Nothing exciting happened and i did manage to keep myself out of trouble. I spent most of the summer in some weird funk, but i dont think it ruined the entire season. So now i have the fall activities to look forward to... Apple picking, spiced apple martini's, pumpkin everything and Halloween! I hope that fall brings me happiness and less drama. So good bye summer, as always, u have gone too soon!

Talk Talkin alot But its Still Talk...

First, i would like to apologize to the 2 ppl that read this blog. Life has been crazy the past few weeks and i think just now things r starting to get back to normal.

Now on to todays rant! My coworker and i used to be pretty good work friends. We were not besties or anything, but i would say we were close enough to go out at lunch together, shop, etc. Over the past few years we have grown apart (100% my doing). I just grew tired of her childish ways and how loud and obnoxious she was about everything. As far as she was concerned i was her 'girl' and she 'had my back' Last week was her last week being my coworker and i was happy to be done with her. I never planned on cutting her out of my life for ever. but i figured she would email me from time to time and i would have occasional, civil contact with her. I knew she was far too dense to know how much i hated her while we worked together. This week work was going great! i didnt have to listen to endless phone conversations, i was able to keep my music on as loud as i wanted and i was in a great mood! Fast forward to Wednesday afternoon when i get an email from her. I didnt really think anything of it at first, i skimmed it real quick cuz i was busy and planned on emailing her back something very vague and cordial. Until i get to the last paragraph. She drops a bombshell on me! She tells me about this rumor going around about me and how 'everyone' is talking about said rumor. I wont get into the rumor on here, but it is a pretty big rumor, the kind that if it was going around about u, u would hope someone would clue u into the fact. She proceeds to tell me that people would ask her 'all the time' and she would deny the rumor for me, cuz again, i am her 'girl'. She didnt want to TELL me about the rumor because it would have been AWKWARD because we sat next to each other. WHAT.THE.FUCK. seriously?! i THOUGHT friends would tell each other these things. Regardless if u thought the rumor was true or not, someone ANYONE should have said to me 'hey amy i know its none of my business, but i thought u had the right to know.' really? not ONE SINGLE PERSON. No one thought they would be nice and just effing HINT that people were saying SHIT about me. I dont care what people choose to believe, i just wish someone would have told me so i could have defended myself. Now i fear its too late. Everywhere i walk around work i wonder 'did they hear?' or 'what are they thinking about me' i think about conversations ive had with coworkers that at the time seemed very random, could they have been misconstrued? I know people are going to think and say what they want, hell if it was about someone else i'd be all over this rumor. But its different when its about you. But whatever. its over, its going around, and people have formed their opinions about me already and theres no changing their minds at this point and i mean i guess its not even the rumor i care so much about. Its these so called 'friends' who just fucking talked about me and 'knew' these things about me and never once told me or hinted to me. No matter how weird it would have made things, if someone was a real, true, genuine friend they would have told me because i had the right to know and thats what friends do...

So as i sit here on a friday night listening to my zune and blogging, i am completely emotionally drained. I think i felt every emotion possible in the past 3 days. I'm glad for the 3 day weekend to finally be here. And i am glad to have learned what kind of a 'good friend' this person is. I just want to know when people will ever grow up and why people care so much about my life??

summer time...

A lot has happened since i last wrote. ( i am the WORST at keeping up with this!)

Last week i had some time off, and it was much needed. We went to the Blink 182 show and it was such a good time. I have LOVED blink as long as i can remember ( i think even before hanson!!)! I have been looking forward to this show since they announced their come back @ the Grammys in February! The hype did not disappoint. It was prob the best blink show i have seen and it was great to hear every old song that i have grown up loving. Towards the end of the show i got a little nostalgic and realized that this was probably the last time i will see them live, because i honestly do not think they will stay together (even for the kids -ha see what i did there, yes lame blink song joke, sigh-). But it was great rocking out like i was 14 again.
The rest of that weekend was filled with sports. Rox game-terrible, WAY too many children which made me realize if @ 26 im not ready to deal with them, perhaps i never will. Revs game- Tons of fun. it was nice, inexpensive and something different to do. Sunday we had a cookout @ nicole and erics, which was a lo of fun too!
Monday dan and i decided to be adventurous and go to a new beach. we went to Dennis. the beach was nice, and we had an awesome time! there wasnt much else to do in town (imo) so we headed home and got some drinks closer to home. Tuesday we chilled @ home and now im back @ work!
All in all my vacation was really nice, we didnt go anywhere Fancy, but thats just fine by me. I got to spend time with friends and family and just relax.

A kiss to send us off...

This weekend Dan and i went to the Incubus show. It was JUST what i needed. I can not even remember the last time i had that much fun. To me, there is nothing like a live show. We had great seats and the band put on a great show! i would def say it was one of the best shows i have been to ever! Of course the night was going to well, so something had to go wrong. We lost the car!! we found it after 20 mins of frantically searching12 lots!! lol but all was well once we found the focus! we then sat in traffic to get out of the lot for what seemed like forever. But it was ok because we had so much fun, and i drive like an aggressive a-hole, so i was able to get us out in pretty good time ;) The show was pretty much a kick off to a busy month of events! im excited for the next show, Blink 182, which is on thursday and im sure will be just as much fun. Im slowly starting to get out of my life funk and back to being my happy self. Having time off and things to do during the time off is really helping alot. So heres to a great month of summer fun!

Maybe Its because i Just Can't Honestly Tell you what I want...

Its no secret, i am going thru some sort of quarter life crisis. I have always known what i want out of life and have always been a relatively upbeat, happy person. Lately i cant get out of my own way. i have lost interest in everything. I should be happy, i have everything i want, but i still find my self in a funk. I dont even know what it is i want. I think what started this whole crisis is my absolute paranoia about losing my job. If i lose my job, what will i do?? where will i work? and will i ever have a job like this again!? what if i cant find another job? what if i have to work @ walmart? nothing like a $100k degree and working @ walmart. The whole thing stresses me out. And then its like, i want to be happy, but as i sit here, teary eyed, i can only think about how sad i am. Its nothing anyone did to me or said to me. Its just something i can not explain... I am not an emotional person, i can man up with the best of them. I ignore people that bother me, push people away when i think i am about to get hurt, but lately i feel like if someone looks at me the wrong way i will burst into tears. This is not a way for me to live. No matter what i do i cant snap out of it. I have tried going out in the fresh air @ lunch time, walks after dinner, movies, hobbies, outings with the hubby, everything. While i am happy while we are doing these things, i always return to feeling miserable. I really need to snap out of this. I just wish i knew what it is that i honestly want...

Reasons we are not parents

Caitlin and I are like in so many ways, down to saying the same thoughts at the same time. And one way we are like is that we both are not ready to become moms. We've thoughtfully listed all the reasons we choose to stay childless. I am purple and Caitlin is pink.


-"I am tired of taking care of living things." (Even in a drought, I'm just not dedicated enough to water the plants I grew from seeds.)
-If my car is sick, I'd rather just let the dealer keep it and give me a new one.
-My mom now asks if I have food and am eating every time she sees me.
-Realizing at 10pm that you did not feed the dog.
-Not even knowing how many fish you have in the fish tank, or not noticing when one just disappeared.
-I need my sleep.
-At one point had STFU Parents on Google Reader. (It got old though.)
-That thing called childbirth.
-Stretch marks!
-No drinking for 9 months.
-No coffee for 9 months (total deal breaker).
-Far too self-absorbed.
-I am notoriously impatient.
-Can't stand the sight of a crying baby and have to leave the room.
-I don't think I could care that much about pooping on the potty.
-Daisy of Love is not appropriate family viewing.
- Can't listen to "Crazy Bitch" on full blast in the car with a baby on board.
-Flying to Boston for a Hanson concert? Not gonna happen with kids around.
-Blood? Injuries? Loose teeth? No thank you.
-The possibility of multiples makes me go "Holy crap."
-We're still young!
-Half the time, my boyfriend acts like a child.
-Half the time *I* act like a child.
-My boyfriend said once that he wouldn't want to have just one child on the chance it might have only-child syndrome.
-It's way more eco-friendly (less waste, less need to consume, less energy needed).
-Having to cart them around everywhere sounds terrible (I hate bringing my purse out! Never mind a whole PERSON.)
-I want one that looks exactly like Maddox Jolie-Pitt and logically speaking, that won't happen.
- Kids are too needy.
-The possibility of them wanting to go to LSU for college.
- The possibility of them becoming a Yankee fan.
- The possibility of having a snotty little girl.
- I don't want to spend morning, noon and night talking about how AWESOME my kid's scribbles on a paper are.
- I prefer spending disposable income on shoes... for myself.
- MOM JEANS.
-Being in charge of raising an intellectual human being? I don't work well under pressure and stress.
-Lots of parents complain about how parenthood is a 24/7 job. I need my time off.
-I don't hate kids, I just like to give them back to their parents after an hour or so. :)
- I hate kids. :)

You know what really grinds my gears?

This whole jon and kate plus 8 shannagins that is going on right now, thats what!! i dont watch the show regularly, in fact, the whole thought of having 8 children under the age of 10 makes me want to go to some back ally and rip my reproductive glands out. But i am a slave to celebrity blogs and the story is unavoidable. a few weeks ago i watched the first ever TV special for jon and kate. I felt bad for jon. Kate was demanding and he worked long hours and he waited on her hand and foot and didnt really complain. Then the new season of the show started, I had to tune in to see all the commotion. I watched the premiere and it really didnt tell me anything i had not already read online. but i was some how intrigued. It appeared that Jon had FINALLY grown a set and was standing up for him self. Then last night, in all my shameful TV watching glory, i watched a FULL episode of the show to see their 'big announcement'. Now i wont get into the fact that how spoiled rotten and annoying these children are (cuz i could be bias with u know, my love of kids in general). The end of the episode, when they were talking about how their marriage has dissolved, kate finally decided that she is a shitty human being and wants to world to feel bad for her. Guess what, i aint buying it. She had a great husband who has put up w/ her BS for 10 long years! I am happy that he got out of this relationship.

WHICH brings me to my next topic. The Internet is all a stir with jon hatred this morning. Everyone is saying how cold he came across and how dare he walk out on his children... excuse me!? have these people even SEEN this show before??? i have BARELY seen the show and i know enough that kate was VERY verbally abusive to jon. If the roles were reversed everyone would applaud Kate for leaving this relationship and setting an example for her 8 young children. Why is society holding this man, and men in general, to a different standard. He 'stopped the cycle' of abuse. A mantra many women shout to each other when in these kinds of relationships. I would think people would be happy for jon he is doing whats right for everyone. People are saying jon "allowed" kate to be mean to him. Would people ever DARE say this to an abused woman? 'oh u let him smack the shit out of u' HELL NO!! They would tell that woman, run, run fast and never ever look back. Mental abuse is JUST as bad as physical abuse, poor jon. I hate these double standard we have! So Jon, Kudos, for stopping the mental abuse your wife has inflicted on you! And shame on you society for encouraging this kind of mental abuse given to this man by that woman!!!

Life is High school

The past week has been spent watching Freaks and Geeks on Dvd. I love this show and it very much reminded me of high school life. Then, the more i thought about it the more i realized that life in general never really changed much from this high school dynamic. My job is a great example of this. We have the 'poplar' group that everyone wants to say hi to or hang out with, and they know it (and im pretty sure love it). You have the nerds (ps my allies lol) who do all the techie jobs. These people have always been my favorite group, even when growing up. They are always the nicest group, even if other ppl think they are freaks. You have the dramatic group of people who no one ACTUALLY likes, but they are blissfully unaware. Theres the guy in the office/school who is quiet and a little strange and will probably shoot the place up just cuz he's bored. Theres the smart group who just do their own thing and do not really get involved in the social aspects.
Of course there is also the petty drama of who likes who and whose a slut/bitch/etc. In highschool I always thought to myself 'if i can just make it thru these 4 years life will be so much better. Granted life has got a trillion times better, but some things in life never, ever change.

I've Gotta a Funny Feeling...

For about a week very strange things have been happening to me. Like completely random strange things. It started last week on my drive home. I'm sitting on the highway and i started to think about my friend Melissa, wondering what she was up to and how she has been. I havent talked to her since maybe right after I got married. We've sent a few txts here and there, but nothing recently. Fast forward to about 8 oclock that night when im driving home from tennis and my phone gets a txt. Its from melissa. Out of the blue she txt me to tell me she was thinking of me and that we have to get together soon. I think this has to be the strangest of all the weird things happening to me lately. I mean, i havent thought about her or talked to her in months and then bam, txt! Then theres been random instences where i will be thinking of someone and suddenly i see that they have tweeted or i think i need some thing from people i work with and as i am thinking it they send me what i need. I think of a song, it comes on the radio. Im working in something for a client, their commercial comes on. All of this is creeping me out. I feel like a should shut my eyes and hope the Loto numbers come to me!!

Athleticism

I am by no means athletic. I am actually horribly awkward and uncoordinated. i haven't played a sport since i was in 8th grade(ish) and we didnt even HAVE gym in high school. i am also not the most patient person in the world so i always lose interest in activities i am not immediately skilled at. I hate how terrible i am at every sport i try. I loath the act of running and really, really, really suck at it. Coordination is NOT my strong suit. If there's a way to awkwardly get hurt, fall, miss a ball, and hit my self in the face, I will find it!
Which leads me to last night. In my never ending quest to actually have a hobby and do something productive with my life (and to maybe get in a little shape!) I decided to give the fine sport of tennis a try. Lets remind everyone that i am horribly out of shape and tennis involves a LOT of running. I decided to learn with my brother, who plays hockey and has made it his lifes mission to make me feel like an awkward sloth. While we were both learning yesterday he pointed out how terribly i run. Now i have a complex, have people been making fun of me my whole life for the way i run?? I mean i know people have been making fun of me my whole life, but i never thought running would be used for their ammunition! This makes me want to practice my running. to prove that i can overcome my lack of coordination and at least become ok @ tennis. Tennis last night went ok. i am not very good and found plenty of ways too look like a fool, but i think for my first time i did ok. I want to practice a lot so i can get better, i could see how tennis could be fun but right now its one of us serving the ball (which we have both become excellent @) and the other one chasing after it. And i keep swinging my racket and completely missing the ball, but other than that i did ok! :)
We might go back out tonight, it has been raining all day, but it did stop i need to stick to this hobby!

every weekend should be a three day weekend

Seriously, if every weekend was a 3 day weekend i think i would be a much happier person. I would much rather work four 10 hour days and have 3 days off. I think i would be much more productive.
I have already got a lot accomplished this morning and i feel very refreshed. Adding to the nice relaxing long weekend was the fact that dan was also home for the 3 days. This is something that is EXTREMELY rare, so it was nice to be able to sleep in and chill with him. Now i am back at work. It only took about 5 mins for me to become frustrated, but i am trying my best to brush it off and not let certain people bring down my great mood. Now that the summer has unoffically started i am ready to start planning things to do over the next 3 and a half months. I don't think we will phsyically go away this summer, which is fine with me. I am happy just hanging out and taking a few day trips. We already have a few concerts and red sox games we are going to, throw in a few beach days and i will be one happy camper! :)

sucky week

i should rename this post to sucky 10 days. It seems like everything i touch just has gone to shit. Everything started off with a mistake (my bad) at work. Of course this was my fault and there was nothing i could do. A pretty major mistake at that, but nothing that couldnt be resolved, but cut to the crazy people i work with and it just made the remainder of last week hell. Like not wanting to leave the comfort of the walls of my house or even see sunlight bad. The weekend was pretty good so i was able to start feeling a little better. As the previous post says we stayed out wayyyy too late on sunday night so Monday i was dragging ass for much of the day. With someone out in my department i was pretty busy all day and just wanted to crawl in a hole and sleep by 5pm. Tuesday rolled around, i was no longer a zombie and was feeling better. This is the day the planets aligned to make my life hell. Another problem was brought to my attention (not my fault this time) but its getting blamed on me. You bet your ass i have spent the entire week fighting over a he said/she said problem (which is an uphill battle that im pretty sure the end result is we will agree to disagree on) . As i have been fighting this my allergies/possible Swine Flu have been KICKING my ass!! Then all kinds of other tiny headaches from clients/coworkers has made the past week UNbearable! Yesterday i couldnt even focus for more than 10 mins. I ached, coughed, sneezed, and still had to deal with petty client BS. The tone of the work place lately has been miserable as well, this has made me especially grumpy. Now the week has been topped off with a big fat bruins playoff elimination making for a VERY grumpy hubby (and the rest of my family really) Today has been better, but not great. I can not stop hacking up a lung and the day is DRAGGING. I'm looking forward to the weekend where i can just regroup and start fresh on monday. So damn it planets, realign to make someone elses life hell and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Drunk People

One of my favorite things to do is be a sober person in a sea of drunks. Don't get me wrong, i love to get my party on but sometimes its just too expensive to do so (or i want to actually remember the experience!) I love the bostons sports scene. I love how intense fans get and how passionate people are about their teams. Every so often when I go to a sporting event i will have a beer or 2, but usually no more than that. I am just far too cheap to spend more than 14 bucks on freeking beer in a plastic cup. That being said, i am probably one of the only people attending who feels this way so i am often the lone sober person in my section. I actually find this enjoyable. Last night for example, we were at the Bruins play off game. It was a must win game for the bruins. Having spent about 100 bucks per ticket i really wanted to enjoy the game and remember everything that was going on. I got my Giant Souvenir soda and chicken basket (and recycled shirt!!) and sat back and enjoyed the game! Every person around us was drinking, heavily. Not just beer either, i saw daiquiris, stoli and sprites, even rum and cokes. By the 3rd period everyone was TANKED. They gave everyone in the crowd free playoff towels to wave in the air. By the end of the game the towels were being thrown on the ice and at other people, braided together to make ropes, and (my personal fav) to dance obscenely! The guy in front of us was the high five king and turned around and yelled and gave everyone highfives in every row, including behind me, all night. I enjoyed watching drunks stagger up the steep stairs with 2 full beers in their hands trying to not spill anything. The best part of my sober night was in the parking garage. first off drunk people wandering around trying to remember where they parked, PRICELESS. Drunk fans screaming 'lets go bruins' all the way from the garden to Government center is priceless. Sitting in our car the people behind us were honking their horns and cheering 'lets go traffic HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK.' My favorite drunk guy of the night came just as we were about the leave the garage. Ian had his window down and the guy came over to high five him, Ian stuck his hand out got a highfive and the guy started going nuts "WOO WOOO WOO YEA!!" he screamed while thrusting his pelvis @ my brother and mom. He was WAY too excited about that highfive!
This isn't the first time ive been the sober one, at the dropkick murphys concert i also opted to stay sober, milking my one beer all night. People stumbling up the stairs kept me entertained all night.
Coming up this summer we have 2 red sox games, one being against the yankees where fans are SUPER intense. I look forward to watching drunk asses there too.
Some times being the sober person with all the drunks is worth it. I had so much more fun people watching than i would have had being drunk. Considering all the booze that people had last night the crowd was happy and there were no fights amongst fans. It was a great night to be a Bostonian and a hockey fan!

music

Ive always been a music geek. There's just something about a great song with great lyrics that makes me happy. I love a song can define an emotion that i am feeling. I love when you have not heard a song for years and it comes on you can still sing along and remember just what you were feeling when that song was popular. This morning, i was driving to work listening to my zune when "thinking of you" came on. As soon as it came on i was flooded with memories of the summer of 97. How many times i listened to that song. What i was feeling/doing that summer. It was all fresh in my brain. Fast forward a few hours and No doubt is on the today show. They sang some old songs and before one of the breaks they played ex girlfriend. Floods of memories came to me then. I ordered that CD online and it came in right before my Jr Prom. I remember listening to that song over and over my Jr year. Nothing will ever make me feel the way music does. I love lyrics that i can relate to in situations in my life. Whether I'm happy, sad, silly, bored, crazy, whatever I may be feeling. I know that there will always be a good soundtrack to play out my emotions.

Mother nature

Mother nature is such a bitch. When ever i can finally start going out and enjoying the nice weather she makes sure to make me ill. I have terrible TERRIBLE allergies in the spring time. My eyes get red and puffy, my nose gets stuffy and my throat gets scratchy. Then i am forced to practically give up my kidney just to be able to purchase allergy meds, which leads me to 'rough it' as long as i can. (read: until im so effing miserable i want to shoot myself in the face). So after a great weekend filled with tons of outdoor activities i have spent the last 48 hours shoot myself in the face miserable. This morning i caved. My abs were starting to hurt from all the sneezing and i took my first allergy med of the season. Today i feel Great! im a little hazy from the meds, but my nose isnt stuffy and i havent sneezed at all! So you win this time mother nature, but i will still be out this afternoon enjoying your tease of the summer today!

Longing

This time of year is the absolute worst time to have a 9-5 job. Im sitting here looking at the sunny day and wishing that i was outside and not in. The next week is going to be even nicer and you guessed it, i will be here! Don't get me wrong, i am so grateful to have a job, but sometimes i just wish i had the freedom of rolling out of bed and out to the pool.

amazing

Its absolutely amazing what a beautiful weekend does for a New England girls soul. The weather this weekend was so nice and it was dan's weekend off. We def got the most out of this weekend. We had an awesome afternoon on saturday shopping in wareham and then stopped @ the farmers market to get some fresh fruit and veggies. Its great to be able to walk around and not be freezing. Sunday we reseeded the lawn, AGAIN. hopefully this time it takes. Last night we went for a nice walk around the neighborhood and it looks like everyone spent the weekend working on their yards. Everything looks so springy and i couldnt be happier!

Also last night dan and i tried asparagus for the first time. i was pleasantly surprised that it was good and dan liked it! I love to cook and a lot of spring time recipes call for asparagus so i am happy to know that we both like it and i can now expand my cooking horizons!

Today is Patriots day/ Marathon Monday, most of the state is off, but i am not. Although i enjoy the quietness of the day, i cant help but wish i was still enjoying the weekend!

i did it!

So lent came and went and i did it! i stuck to no gossip blog lurking! i was also able to remain meat free on fridays! Im pretty sure this is the first time i have ever been successful in either of these things. I am very proud that i actually gave something up that i missed. And even now that i can go back on the blogs, i really havent. I think i kicked my nasty gossip blog habit, once and for all :)!

galapagos

Ever since i was a kid i have wanted to go to the Galapagos Islands. I was fascinated with all of the marine life that lives exclusively on these islands. I had more or less forgot about it until i was watching Jeopardy and they are giving away some sort of trip to the islands! I decided to start looking up how much a trip here would be. After days of drooling over how breath taking these islands are, i have accepted that unless i win the lottery, this is as close as i will ever get to them. as amazing as this place looks, i can not spend 12K on a vacation trip.

So we shall add this vacation to the list of dreams that will never come true =(

my weekend

My weekend has been SO busy! We are in the remortgaging the house to save some money every month on our mortgage. What i didnt realize when i started this process was that someone would come and assess the house value. We literally have about 3 projects we are smack in the middle of that make the house look unfinished. So last week when the bank called to schedule our appointment i started to panic! i have sooo much work to do on the house. We have gotten a lot done over the weekend and as i sit here the house is in ruins, everything is a mess... And we still have a few more things to finish up. On top of all of this we are putting in replacement windows. i have spent every spare dime and minuet on fixing up the house over the past week. hopefully it will all be worth it. we have been in the house over 2 years now and we have done so much to it... sometimes it feels like we are never going to finish. I knew having a house would be a lot of work, but i just want my life back! Not helping matters is the fact that i have been super busy at work as well. By the time i come home during the week im too tired to do anything. I am looking forward to next weekend when i wont have to paint, saw, sand, hammer, vacuum or anything!

Feeling jipped

ive always been responsible and it has ALWAYS bitten me in the ass. When dan and i decided to move out on our own we bought a house we could afford. The house needed a lot of TLC but it was in our price range and we were excited with the endless possibilities we would have at remodeling and making it our own. Fast forward 2 years and now people who were irresponsible are having the government save them and now a house in our price range wouldnt need all these friggin renovations. Over the past 2 yrs we have replaced almost everything in the stupid house and we still have so much more to do. Ive grown to hate the house. Free time and money is spent fixing up things, and the house still sux. The latest project to suck the life out of me is putting in new interior doors. what a sucky project. I wish we lived beyond our means because we would have a nice house that i wouldnt have to spend my summer vacation money this year on replacement windows =( being a home owner sucks.

Future

This past week i celebrated my 26th birthday. Beyond that fact that im starting to feel old, it really got me thinking. It has been 10 years since i celebrated my 16th birthday and gained my freedom of being able to have a job and being able to drive. Which got me to also start thinking. Around the time i was 16 people would always ask where do u see yourself 10 yrs from now? My answer was always, house, husband, good job. So here i am 10 years later and i can say, i did it! i met my goals! Which leads me to my next thought. Now what? I have never seen my self as a mother, but i assume in the next 10 years thats something that will happen. I guess my goals for the next 10 years are to keep the goals i have met and to remain happy! The moral of this story? I am way too hard on myself and need to be happy with what i have done. So heres to a happy, healthy next 10 years! :)

Rough

Its been a rough week. On thursday 10 people were laid off at my job. I knew and worked closely with at least half of them including someone who had my former position!! I spent my entire work day on thursday stressing out about who in our dept would get the axe. Im glad it wasnt me, but it still made me upset because it easily could have been!!! My boss assures us that we wont have any more cuts in our department, but u never know. It caused me to really take a look @ my life. What would i have done if i was laid off? I have student loans, car payments and a mortgage!!!! I went to school for communication, so i dont even have a fall back! I would def have to go back to school. Which made me really think that maybe i should have gone to school for something better to begin with. Why didnt i push my self harder to be able to have a secure job. As always, im left second guessing my life. I am very thankful for everything i have and very thankful that it was not me that got laid off. But this hit a little to close to home for me. Now at work i have buckled down and really started making my self obnoxiously available. i cant get laid off! This is such a scary time.

Growing

I'm at a weird junction in my life. People who i always thought were my friends have grown distant, have had children, or just moved on with life. Lately being friends with people has been a lot of work. I can count on one hand the number true friends i have. Im thankful for my few close friends, but when i look back and think of how far apart i have grown from some of my closest friends it makes me sad. I know its all part of growing up, but even when i try to make plans with people they never pan out. This week it has become evident that event planning with people we thought were our friends is near impossible. So from now on i am done trying. If my 'extended' friends want to get together they can plan it. I am sick of being the one bending over backwards and trying to get everyone together. I will stick with my true best friends and be thankful that i have them.

St. Patricks Day

This is a 'holiday' i never really understood. I am not Irish, but growing up in this part of the country, i am one of the only people i know with no Irish in them. I used to hate in school when we would make shamrocks and call our selves things like 'amy o'bonaparte' thats not name. Corned beef and cabbage makes me want to hurl, Irish music is terrible. But i married an irish dude, so i am forced to participate in St patricks day. But all is not lost with this non-holiday, it is the official start to the count down till my birthday!! (one week!!!!) So i will drink my green beer to that!!

Life

Ok so i let the dog sleep in our bed. I know i prob shouldnt, but shes so snugly and lovable that i cant let her sleep all night in her cage! Normally she sleeps at the top of the bed and snuggles her head with my head and sleep all night with out any problems. The past week she has decided to sleep at the foot of our bed, on my side, pinning me in what ever spot im in all night. This has resulted in me sleeping in very strange, uncomfortable positions. I have not gotten a good night sleep all week and now im super tired :(

In other others news, Im a gullible chump who gets walked all over. tho this is nothing new...

Just what i needed

This weekend was perfect. Saturday Dan and i headed up to patriot place. We got a ton of things @ old navy, but over all didnt shop too much. It was nice to get out and walk around outside with out a huge jacket on. Sunday, i read out side and listened to some music (one of my favorite things to do). Then we took the pup for a nice walk around the neighborhood. It was great to actually get out with her and she was more than happy! We topped off the weekend with my second favorite part about the month of march! SHAMROCK SHAKES! yum!!!

The beautiful sunshine, warm weather and escape from the 4 walls of my house was exactly what i needed to bring my spirits up. I am not a winter person and i live for these nice spring days. now today we are back to reality with a snowy mess outside. I love new england!

that time of year again

Every year around this time, i get into a funk. Im sick of winter and ready for spring. Spring is my favorite time of year. I love the flowers blooming, the grass growing, the sun staying out later and the warmer days. This weekend looks like it will be a nice taste of spring time. Im looking forward to this crappy winter to be done with. I have def been in a funk the past few weeks, but with day light savings time this weekend and the warmer weather, i hope i will be able to get back to being my cheery self :)

Lenten Sacrifice

Ok So i admit, the last time I went to church was for my little brothers graduation (last may)... And the time before that was for MY graduation from HS (May 2001!!)... And the four years IN high school the only church going i did was school related (except for confirmation!!) So roughly, i havent been to an actual Mass since i was 14? super! (see everyone in hell?? lol) Every year tho, i do TRY to keep up with Lent. This year i feel like i have been a terrible sinner, so i am trying EXTRA hard with Lent. So far so good. No meat on Ash Wednesday, no meat today. I even gave something up. Which i have not done since HS and even then i dont think i ever really kept up, i would just make it up in my religion journal (omg i really am going to hell!) So this year, i quit gossip blogs. My job can be really slow sometimes and the first thing i always do is start surfing the gossip sites. I sometimes feel like i know more gossip about celebs than people i actually know... No one thinks i will be able to keep this up for a whole 40 days. Now i am out to prove all of you wrong!! I really think this will make me a better person. Now when i am bored i can read about news and current events and not about Miley and the Jonas brothers! Its good for me!! (i will admit that i am jones'in to read about Tom Bradys wedding!! but i can do this!!!) So 2 and a half days down, 37.5 to go! I have faith that for once in 25 years i will keep my sacrifice AND remain meatless on fridays!!
Wish me luck!!

25 Things

So i started doing my 25 and had WAY too much fun working on it for a week! :) I added 5 *bonus* because i kept thinking of things i wanted to add. YOUR WELCOME! =)


1- I am a giant Child and I NEVER want to grow up. (and i am pretty sure i never will)
2- I love laughing until i cry, and do so often.
3- Everything I do in life i second guess. Especially my career choice. Now that I'm a few years into I wonder if this is how I want to spend the rest of my life or if i should have chosen a more challenging field.
4- Long toe nails are a huge pet peeve of mine. I cut my toe nails every other week obsessively short and it drives my husband nuts :)
5- I think i have an Internet/Txt addiction. Its a serious problem if i am without my cell or email for too long.
6- As much as i complain about New England and its terrible weather, i could not imagine living anywhere else. I would miss the first snow, the first nice day and the days that the snow starts to melt. I would miss conversations with strangers about how nice it is outside when its actually only in the 30s. I would miss people honking their horns @ me and flipping me the bird. Deep down i love this crazy state.
7- Babies freak me the heck out. While everyone else is cooing over them and wanting to hold them, i can be found trying to leave the room and not make eye contact.
8- I'm a night owl. If i could stay up all night i absolutely would. I cant remember the last time i went to bed with out forcing my self to go to sleep.
9- Ive always been a bit of a tree-hugger and i am happy that its becoming the 'cool' Thing to do. I will be sad when people give up on it for the next cool thing.
10- Hanson has been my favorite band since i was 14 (mmmbop came out on my 14th bday!!) I don't care if u don't like them, i think if u gave them a chance now u would really like the musicians they have become.
11- I hold grudges. If you make me upset or hurt me, i will never, ever forget.
12- Aside from flip flops and sneakers, i do not own a pair of flats. I am short, my husband is tall. When i take my shoes off people are usually surprised at how tiny i actually am.
13- Stop asking me when i am having kids. I'm 25 and want to enjoy life a bit. I can hardly take care of my self, i do not need another mouth (or 2 since twins run in my family) to feed.
14- Shopping is a sport for me. There is nothing like finding a sale and getting a great deal. I love the thrill of buying new clothes and wearing them for the first time.
15- I sometime miss wearing a uniform as getting ready in the morning was so much easier. Skirt, tights, sweater, oxford, DONE.
16-In Jr High i had my thyroid taken out. It has left an unsightly scar on my neck (that I'm apparently the only one who can see). In Jr High and High School i always wore chokers so no one would see the scar. As I've gotten older i don't try to hide it as much, but i am still self conscious about it.
17- I'm a sucker for animals. I would be more likely to stop and help a wounded animal on the side of the road than a human. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably.
18- If i could "do it all over again" i would go to school for marine biology. When i was a kid i wanted to be a vet, until my dad told me i would have to put animals to sleep. I toyed with marine biology in High school, but when push came to shove, Communication/advertising seemed more interesting to my 17 yr old self.
19- I can listen to a song once and know the lyrics and remember them forever. Yet i can not even remember what Trigonometry IS never mind what i learned in the class.
20- In my dream life I drive an Audi TT Roadster, color silver. I live some place tropical and i don't work. My real life couldn't be further from this. Its good to have dreams.
21- People that do not know me very well think i am quiet. Once you get to know me, u find out how wrong u really were :)
22- I was teased a lot growing up. I spend 70% of my adult life doing everything in my power to reverse the damage. I keep my forehead covered, wear makeup everywhere and never leave the house unless i have nice hair and nice clothes on. Its shallow yes, but i am terrified of running into a former teaser and justifying their mean words. I want them to see me and think 'man i should have been nicer to her'.
23- I hate my middle name. I hate it so much I'm not even going to write it on here. When i was changing my name after getting married i was tempted to get rid of my middle name all together, but i figured it would hurt my mother's feelings.
24- I hate asking other people for help. I would rather just do everything myself than ask for help. This usually results in me getting burnt out, but i would rather do everything myself so things get done the way I want them to.
25- I love to cook and am actually getting pretty good at it. My dad is a great cook so growing up we always had awesome home cooked meals. I'm getting more confident in my skills and have become pretty good over the past three years! Baking is a whole other story. I always forget to add some ingredient that ruins the whole thing.


~~**~~**~~Bonus 5~~**~~**~~

1- My house was struck by lightening when i was a kid. It blew out all the electronics in my house and caused a fire in my front yard. I have been terrified of lightening ever since.
2- I hate when people think I am French. I am not even a little French, I am Italian. As my grandfather would have told you, 'read a history book'.
3- I took Spanish from the 7th grade till my senior year in High school. Taught Spanish to 2nd graders AND took 3 semesters of Spanish in college, yet i am still not fluent.
4- I am way too competitive. I despise losing and make fun games into highly competitive games (hellllo xbox ping pong!! lol).
5- I hate being cold. I would rather be sweating than be a tiny bit chilly. When I'm at home I am almost always under a blanket. I assume when i am old i will wear a snuggie 24/7. :)

Tag to anyone who reads this.... which I'm pretty sure is just Caitlin and Dan :)

Tinted Windows

Dear Taylor Hanson,

We have been thru so much. Ive spent so many years being ridiculed for liking ur band. I have spent thousands of dollars on tickets to see your shows and even more on stupid merchandise. i've always felt as tho you and i shared a special bond (you being exactly 10 days older than me!!) Even Tho you are not my Favorite Hanson I still love u just the same. How could you do this behind our backs?! I'm not upset that you want to pursue a side project, in fact, I am happy that others will get to hear your talents without judging you by 'mmmbop'. I am just upset at the way I had to find out about it. Why was this such a secret? As a fan i feel blindsided! I get your news letters for crying out loud! You could have hinted! I was able to forgive the kids and married by 18 thing (again out of nowhere!). We have both moved on from our middle of nowhere days. I have watched you grow as an artist and am now Proud to have a hanson pic in my cube(and carry a hanson tote bag shh). I try all the time to get others to realize your more than just the 'mmmbop kid' that looks like a girl. I have defended your sexuality to everyone i know!!! The least you could have done was hinted in a podcast, newsletter or blog that you were working on a side project. No instead i have to read about it on Billboard's website! I thought as a fan we were closer than that.

So Jordan Taylor, I wish you luck in your newest adventure. I sincerely hope it is successful for you. just please no more secrets.

XoXo
Amy

Valentines weekend

Valentines weekend was great. Dan and i had both had a rough week so it was nice to enjoy each others company with no distractions for a change. I had planned on making a nice romantic dinner and Dan had something up his sleeve. We had both decided we didnt want any material things for valentines this year and we would just hang out at home. I made pesto stuffed chicken with pasta and Italian bread. It was really really good!! The meal turned out great, but was not with out incident!!!! As i was cooking the pesto sauce i started to smell something burning. I figured the smell was coming from cooking on a burner that i do not normally use. I looked down and noticed that my cutting board was starting to warp. I had put it on my stove top so i could slice the chicken and keep and eye on the sauce. I thought the warping was weird so i decided to move the board. i picked it up and noticed it had MELTED to the stove!!! i had accidentally turned on the front burner instead of the back one. The burner my cutting board was on!! Thankfully i was able to get all of the plastic off the burner and now u can not even tell what happened. So once my little hiccup was over i settled down and waited for whatever dan had planned. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband. He rented 'the perfect storm' which is the same thing we had done for our 1 month anniversary 8 yrs ago!! It was so sweet of him to not only remember but to go out of his way to recreate this date. He also got me beautiful pink carnations! I'm so lucky! While watching the movie i made some cheese fondue. Which wasnt great but dan insists it was good. (i still ate it but didnt love it!! lol)

All in all i had one of the greatest vdays ever! i am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband.

the union of two of my besties!

Friday nicole and eric got married! We had such a great time! we danced all night and just had a whole lot of fun. The wedding was beautiful and Nicole even had it fake snow! Nicole looked great and they both seemed really happy. I am so happy for the both of them and hope they have a long happy marriage!! :)

A serious case of the Wednesdays

I have a serious case of something. I am in a terrible mood, I am chronically tired and everyone pisses me off. I HATE being in these moods. so to everyone feeling my wrath i am sorry and to everyone that has to listen to me bitch, thanks!! <3

another strange weekend

Friday night started out with us having plans with two sets of people. That ended up resolving its self. Since we are seriously old and chronically tired we were home and in bed by 1130. lol.

Saturday was busy-ish. We got red sox tix for the game on our anniversary! Then we bought a new Laptop! Then we met mark for a night out of drinking. haha. This did not end well. We went to eat and then headed back to our house to watch some Tv and have some beer. This is where the night took a dive for the worst! My house is ONE floor with a sunken living room. There is ONE stair in my ENTIRE house (not counting the basement!) When mark came he somehow did not see the stair leading into my living room and tumbled right into the fish tank (no fish were harmed in this crazy night). Mark, however, was not so lucky. he busted up his shoulder pretty bad and we concluded this crazy night out at the E.R.!!!! After the E.R. we went to rite aid where i ran into someone i went to JR high with @ midnight on a sat! lol go figure!

Sunday i went ice skating with Dan and Ian. This went better than expected. I only fell 2 times towards the end, when i was starting to get tired and confident. lol. Today im not as sore as i thought i would be. My ankles hurt a little bit, but not as bad as i thought they would.

So what lesson did i learn this weekend??? Its better to be a homebody, cuz homebody's nights do not end in ER visits! :)

Things i learned this weekend

This weekend was Nicoles bachelorette party. We started the night off in Boston and ended up back in Taunton. Overall i had a good time. It was nice to get out and do something different for a change. I also learned a lot on from this... First, i think im getting too old for the 'girls night out' bar scene. drunk men hitting on me has gotten way old. Second, Im glad i never had to do the bar scene. i really just do not get the whole going to a bar, getting messy drunk and then trying to find a guy to hook up with. Third, Im very lucky to have a great husband that respects me and my wishes. A lot of drama was brought up on Saturday and im glad that Dan is a drama free zone in my life!!
Sunday i learned that when i set my mind to it, i can be a great little house wife!! I made Chicken parm, from scratch (i even made the breadcrumbs!) and it came out great! Im so proud of myself!! :)
Monday i learned that as much as i enjoy having four seasons, the snow and cold is really starting to get old. I think dan and i have shoveled a total of 600 hours this winter and it seems to never stop. I am so sick of seeing the candy canes on my walkway, i tried to pull them out Monday but they are buried in over a foot of snow, so they are stuck until we see the grass again!
Today i learned that i need to try and remember when i need to get gas, so i dont have to do it when its 20* out AND im running late for work to begin with!I also learned that i actually can operate after not getting to bed until 230 am (thanks bindi!)

Rut

I think im in a life rut. Everything that i like doing i just dont feel like doing anymore. I'm sick off music, im sick of tv shows, im just sick of everything. My life is so routine and i do the same stuff over and over. I have always been so goal oriented and lately i feel like i have been coasting through life. i no longer have long term goals and i guess i no longer care. I think i need to get my life back together and start having purpose in my life. I hate just coasting by doing the same crap all the time. I miss using my brain and the sense of accomplishment that comes with meeting personal goals. Working all day and having a longish commute do not help. By the time i get home im too tired to care or want anything. Its also dark and cold when i get home making me just want to curl up in front of the fire and watch tv all night. So starting soon... i am going to try to get out of this rut and have a sense of fulfillment!

My voice!

So i woke up this morning with no voice. I sound like a phone sex operator!! Im not sick, i do not feel sick, i just have no voice. Its making work really tough too. Like i cannot call ppl! the one good thing is that i do not have to actually talk to people, which is a welcome change!!

rant

This morning while eating my cheerios and watching the morning news i see a story about Gov Patrick wanting to help obesity in the bay state. while this is a good idea in theory it really makes me angry. Dan and I go out to eat MAYBE once a month (usually even less than that). When we do go its an indulgence. For the most part, when we eat at home we eat pretty healthy. If gov patrick has his way, restaurants will start posting calorie counts on the menu. This absolutely ruins eating out for me. I will see that the pasta dish i really want has 9000 calories in it and i will feel sick and get the grilled chicken that i really do not want. I get that supporters of this want the public to be informed, but when i go out I KNOW that the food is bad for me, i just do not want to be reminded of it and i really dont think this is going to cure obesity.
So i guess i will never eat out again or i will have to hope that they print the calories way too small for me to see so i can enjoy my chicken tacos and not feel like i should go for a run after i eat them!!

/end rant

happy 2009

I am bad at blogging. i never have anything to talk about. Its a new year and today i feel petty crappy. Dans got a sore throat and my nose is stuffy. im sure it has nothing to do with the fact that on Wednesday i drove home with no jacket and my windows open cuz my car was boiling and my wipers kept freezing!! lol.

Overall i can not complain about 2008. Dan and i had a great year, the job is going well, i finally convinced Caitlin to come to boston and dan an i trekked all by ourselves to DC! Im always a little sad to see the year come to an end cuz it means im getting older. lol.

Anyway, New Years eve was good. We just hung out on the couch. it had taken me about 2 hours to get home in the snow storm so i was all set with ever leaving the house again. We made midori sours and watched the ball drop. Leading up to the ball drop we watched all the specials, including the wonderful one on fox hoping to see some drama with robbie canevil (sp?) but it was the most uneventful thing i have ever watched. lol Then we flipped over to dick clark where i had to remind dan that the jonas brothers will never be hanson and how mad/angry/enraged it makes me that ppl compare them to hanson. Ok, they r brothers that is where it ends. i wont get started on the tirade. I was also forced to admit that kevin is my fav jonas. why god, why am i so lame?! Overall i was with dan so it was good :)

So now its a new year, i dont make resolutions, so heres to hoping its a great year :)